Sex & Sox

My passions: Sex and the Boston Red Sox!

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Open Letter to Monsieur Douglas Mientkiewicz

Dear Doug,

I want to start this letter off by letting you know that I would like to get to know you intimately. I am a very open-minded young woman who loves the Red Sox and admires your defensive capabilities. I can even spell your last name without looking at something else.

Now that we've got the bullshit out of the way (I'm really a straightforward person), can we please fuck? I've got my boyfriend's permission. He doesn't even have to join in, though I think with you two both on me I would probably be in heaven. I promise you that I am a delightful piece of ass and would be absolutely thrilled to prove it to you. It would be wonderful if, to preserve the moments for posterity (well really, to rub them in the face of Red Sox Nation's lustful womenfolk and certain menfolk), we could pull out a camera and get it on Paris Hilton-style.

I think we could be excellent lovers. What's best is that I won't even be clingy -- just call me up whenever you're in Toronto and need some stress relief, and I'll call you when I'm down in New England and need the same.

Please leave a comment.

All my lust,

(Post inspired by discovering that picture and finding it ridiculously sexy, and consequently becoming wonderfully horny.)