Sex & Sox

My passions: Sex and the Boston Red Sox!

Monday, November 29, 2004

Of Seeds and Skydomes

So, back during the third game of the ALCS, since I was completely trashed and didn't want to concentrate on what was actually happening (who the hell did?), I concentrated on all the little things. I admired the stark white of the foul lines and fretted when dirt was smeared across them. I tried to imagine being in the umpire's place, and the view of lovely Red Sox bum (and Skanky Yankee bum too), and how those white lines can become so important. I found myself comparing the Fenway grass to all that I'd ever known and found it far superior; it may be just grass, but I would smoke it simply for the thrill of it.

And then I noticed them. For the first time, I really, really noticed them: the sunflower seed shells. Like ants colonizing the base coaches' nests, they were astonishing in number, and they just kept coming. I watched Sveum spew a froth of spittle and husk from betwixt his lips; I was inspired.

I, it was decided, would learn to eat sunflower seeds like a pro. Like a baseball player or staff member, I would toss a handful into my mouth and gnaw on them, deftly removing the nutty little seeds while expelling the jagged shells to the ground.

Pursuant to this, I discovered the joy of the bulk bins at the grocery store; namely, bin #10160, which bears sunflower seeds in the shell for 44 cents a kilogram. Barring the fact that I have no fucking clue how much a kilogram is, I have learned that I can take three scoops out and it will cost me between 75 cents and a dollar. This is awesome for when I need to snack: it's cheap as hell, it's healthy, and I'm satisfying my superstitions.

However, it is excessively unlady-like, and while I generally don't give a damn about that, I do when my boyfriend is home. Therefore, I only eat sunflower seeds when he's not home (like right now) and I'm getting pretty good at husking two seeds at a time.

However, this makes me curious... are any of you good at tying cherry stems with your tongue, or unwrapping a Starburst with your tongue, or anything of that sort?

Oh, and, in other news, Rogers (our cable/internet/phone company) bought the Toronto Skydome for $25 million. Twenty-fuckin-five million... that's all. Insane.